Made with Love

Poem? Rhyming?

Poem? Rhyming?

  • 1) Awsome! Sick! (really, sick)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 2)Pretty good

    Votes: 2 50.0%
  • 3) its ok

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 4)Who cares?

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • 5) weak

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 6) poor

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 7) Poetic soul of a Philistine!

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • 8) Wots a salver?

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    4

Bear669

Well-known member
Joined Jun 7, 2010
Messages 614
WAIT for the poll!


As trivial offense, from bloody pocket he lifted the fiver,
Then with his knife, excised the liver,

On lovely silver salver,
depraved delight, made the monster quiver.:shock:
 

smylee52

Well-known member
Joined Nov 16, 2009
Messages 558
I just read a strange string of words
They lay on the page like dead birds
I would like of them to make sense
But it seems my grey matter is too dense

You see these words were strong when started
But ended with the feeling someone just farted
Whether the salver be silver or gold
It remains that nothing has been told

I would venture an opinion if one would form
But I like many I stay true to a norm
If you want to know what it is I see
I need to let this seed grow into a tree

Yes I can feel the damp and the cold
I see the evil in him acting so bold
Removing the fiver as it was his need
To justify the furthering of his grotesque feed

With money in hand he now was a thief
His only remedy was her death for his relief
This was the knife he used on his dinner apple
Now it had a different use , in the dark streets of Whitechapel .


Well Bear I guess I wasn't impressed at the outset but eventually saw what a genius you are . Bravo . I'm voting pretty good .
 

Bear669

Well-known member
Joined Jun 7, 2010
Messages 614
Cool

Cool

smylee52 said:
I just read a strange string of words
They lay on the page like dead birds
I would like of them to make sense
But it seems my grey matter is too dense

You see these words were strong when started
But ended with the feeling someone just farted
Whether the salver be silver or gold
It remains that nothing has been told

I would venture an opinion if one would form
But I like many I stay true to a norm
If you want to know what it is I see
I need to let this seed grow into a tree

Yes I can feel the damp and the cold
I see the evil in him acting so bold
Removing the fiver as it was his need
To justify the furthering of his grotesque feed

With money in hand he now was a thief
His only remedy was her death for his relief
This was the knife he used on his dinner apple
Now it had a different use , in the dark streets of Whitechapel .


Well Bear I guess I wasn't impressed at the outset but eventually saw what a genius you are . Bravo . I'm voting pretty good .

..and not just sucking up. In the other place, your erotica and other whimsey's much impressed.

I wasnt even thinking of Jack, but I see how you viewed it with the Brit slang. As best I recollect, I dont think Jack made pretense of elegance with his tauntings of the bobbies? But I was focused on Mr. Tasteful:
 

smylee52

Well-known member
Joined Nov 16, 2009
Messages 558
Bear669 said:
..and not just sucking up. In the other place, your erotica and other whimsey's much impressed.

I wasnt even thinking of Jack, but I see how you viewed it with the Brit slang. As best I recollect, I dont think Jack made pretense of elegance with his tauntings of the bobbies? But I was focused on Mr. Tasteful:



Young Hannibal was on the tube last night so I saw it for the first time . :shock: That's too dark for me to do any rhyming with . Although you can do a lot with Fava - lava , java , brava ,guava , .

He plied her with dark roasted guatemalan java
Wondering how she would taste mixed in Hawaiin guava
He could smell her blood flowing through her like hot lava
He would compliment her last moments by telling her "brava ".

I have to stop I'm starting to scare myself :lol: .
 

Bear669

Well-known member
Joined Jun 7, 2010
Messages 614
Do jump in...

Do jump in...

smylee52 said:
Young Hannibal was on the tube last night so I saw it for the first time . :shock: That's too dark for me to do any rhyming with . Although you can do a lot with Fava - lava , java , brava ,guava , .

He plied her with dark roasted guatemalan java
Wondering how she would taste mixed in Hawaiin guava
He could smell her blood flowing through her like hot lava
He would compliment her last moments by telling her "brava ".

I have to stop I'm starting to scare myself :lol: .

Maybe import some of your work from Otherland?

!

You are too damn QUICK!:na:

How is this?

He plied her with dark roasted Guatemalan java
Musing how she would taste mixed in Hawaiin guava
He could smell her blood flowing like sweet hot lava
He would sooth her last moments by whispering "brava ".
 

smylee52

Well-known member
Joined Nov 16, 2009
Messages 558
Bear669 said:
Maybe import some of your work from Otherland?

!

You are too damn QUICK!:na:

How is this?

He plied her with dark roasted Guatemalan java
Musing how she would taste mixed in Hawaiin guava
He could smell her blood flowing like sweet hot lava
He would sooth her last moments by whispering "brava ".

:lol::great:

I'm sipping my java seriously pondering a retort
I've taken a pause from licking guava to enjoy this sport
However this topic has the heat of lava to burn us both
As we both love the lady Brava's and to protect them is our oath

We both know our aim is to enjoy the written word
But in this open theatre we are exposed to the absurd
It must be remembered that few care for humour that's sanguine
Let's not set the stage for the lynching of Smylee and the Bear669 .
 
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