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Funny / Stupid News Thread

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All4one

Guest
Man calls 911 after hooker fails to deliver in fast food bathroom

APRIL 5--Meet William Ferris. The Ohio man yesterday paid a prostitute $50 with the understanding that he would receive a full menu of sexual services in the bathroom of a White Castle in Cincinnati. However, when the hooker only performed oral sex on him, Ferris--who was also expecting vaginal sex--contacted police to report that he had just been robbed. When Hamilton County Sheriff's Office deputies responded to Ferris's 911 call, his "story began to fall apart," according to an arrest report. Ferris admitted that he was not, in fact, robbed by his unidentified paid date. In an interview, a frustrated Ferris told TSG that he expected "all of it for $50," but just got "kissing and sucking" during the 20-minute bathroom encounter. He added that the hooker picked the White Castle for their assignation since its bathroom locked (and not because of the eatery's tasty belly bombers). The unemployed Ferris, charged with solicitation and making a false police report, was scheduled to be arraigned today on the misdemeanor counts. He told TSG that he will be charged with trespassing if he returns to the White Castle on Harrison Avenue.
 
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All4one

Guest
Workers strike over ban on drinking at work

Workers strike over ban on drinking at work

COPENHAGEN (Reuters) – A few hundred warehouse workers and drivers at Danish brewer Carlsberg halted work for a second day on Thursday to protest a company decision to limit beer drinking at work to lunch breaks.
The strike in Denmark followed the company's April 1 decision to introduce new rules for employees on beer drinking at work, said Jens Bekke, spokesman at the world no.4 brewer.
"There has been free beer, water and soft drinks everywhere," he said. "Yesterday, beers were removed from all refrigerators. The only place you can get a beer in future is in the canteen, at lunch."
Bekke said drivers retained an old right to three beers per day outside lunch hours, and warehouse workers claimed the same right.
"Because of that, the warehouse staff went on strike yesterday, with other staff striking in sympathy," he said.
Bekke said as many as 800 had walked out on Wednesday, with 250 still on strike on Thursday, and the Confederation of Danish Industry and trade union 3F had agreed to look into the dispute.
He said there would be no shipments from Copenhagen on Thursday, and delays in the rest of the country, but said he expected the financial effect of the strike to be minor.
He added that Carlsberg's trucks have alcohol locks so drivers would not be able to drink too much and drive.
 
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All4one

Guest
German police summoned over forgotten vibrator

German police summoned over forgotten vibrator

A woman in Germany phoned police after hearing "suspicious noises" in her flat, but much to her embarrassment officers found the source was a vibrator, authorities said Friday.
The noise was so loud and strange, even over the telephone, that police in Bochum in western Germany decided to send a patrol car around to the "scene of the crime", a statement said.
"Daringly, and with the occupier's permission, one of the officers opened the drawer of a wardrobe where the noise was coming from.
"Underneath some clothes he found a very personal, battery-operated object which had obviously switched itself on... The tenant's face abruptly changed colour."
Police then "wished her a nice evening and left".
 

Schmuck

New member
Man calls 911 after hooker fails to deliver in fast food bathroom

APRIL 5--Meet William Ferris. The Ohio man yesterday paid a prostitute $50 with the understanding that he would receive a full menu of sexual services in the bathroom of a White Castle in Cincinnati. However, when the hooker only performed oral sex on him, Ferris--who was also expecting vaginal sex--contacted police to report that he had just been robbed. When Hamilton County Sheriff's Office deputies responded to Ferris's 911 call, his "story began to fall apart," according to an arrest report. Ferris admitted that he was not, in fact, robbed by his unidentified paid date. In an interview, a frustrated Ferris told TSG that he expected "all of it for $50," but just got "kissing and sucking" during the 20-minute bathroom encounter. He added that the hooker picked the White Castle for their assignation since its bathroom locked (and not because of the eatery's tasty belly bombers). The unemployed Ferris, charged with solicitation and making a false police report, was scheduled to be arraigned today on the misdemeanor counts. He told TSG that he will be charged with trespassing if he returns to the White Castle on Harrison Avenue.
You kidding right?
 

jackoffme

New member
A woman in Germany phoned police after hearing "suspicious noises" in her flat, but much to her embarrassment officers found the source was a vibrator, authorities said Friday.
The noise was so loud and strange, even over the telephone, that police in Bochum in western Germany decided to send a patrol car around to the "scene of the crime", a statement said.
"Daringly, and with the occupier's permission, one of the officers opened the drawer of a wardrobe where the noise was coming from.
"Underneath some clothes he found a very personal, battery-operated object which had obviously switched itself on... The tenant's face abruptly changed colour."
Police then "wished her a nice evening and left".
Can picture her face, poor lady.
 

Duke69

New member
COPENHAGEN (Reuters) – A few hundred warehouse workers and drivers at Danish brewer Carlsberg halted work for a second day on Thursday to protest a company decision to limit beer drinking at work to lunch breaks.
The strike in Denmark followed the company's April 1 decision to introduce new rules for employees on beer drinking at work, said Jens Bekke, spokesman at the world no.4 brewer.
"There has been free beer, water and soft drinks everywhere," he said. "Yesterday, beers were removed from all refrigerators. The only place you can get a beer in future is in the canteen, at lunch."
Bekke said drivers retained an old right to three beers per day outside lunch hours, and warehouse workers claimed the same right.
"Because of that, the warehouse staff went on strike yesterday, with other staff striking in sympathy," he said.
Bekke said as many as 800 had walked out on Wednesday, with 250 still on strike on Thursday, and the Confederation of Danish Industry and trade union 3F had agreed to look into the dispute.
He said there would be no shipments from Copenhagen on Thursday, and delays in the rest of the country, but said he expected the financial effect of the strike to be minor.
He added that Carlsberg's trucks have alcohol locks so drivers would not be able to drink too much and drive.
pass me the beer all4one :)
 

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