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Answering machine at a mental hospital.

B

Beenthere123

Guest
“Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline”

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep o before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you are blonde don’t press any buttons, you’ll just screw it up.
 

RayFinkel

Senior Member
Re: Answering machine at a mental hospital.

^ that shit was funny :lol: :lol:




Roses are red


violets are blue


I'm a schizophrenic and so am I
 
B

Beenthere123

Guest
Re: Answering machine at a mental hospital.

RayFinkel said:
I'm a schizophrenic and so am I
Talking about your Bo again :roll:
 

Detective

New member
“Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline”

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep o before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you are blonde don’t press any buttons, you’ll just screw it up.
LOL, sorry guys going through old threads and this is hilarious.
 

Schmuck

New member
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
:lol::lol::lol::lol:
 

Trump

New member
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.


Hello Hello
 
H

HOF

Guest
Hof you pressing 3, 4, 5 and six :twisted:

It's been almost 2 weeks since I've hobbied so I have:

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
:gasp::gasp::gasp::gasp:
 

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