Made with Love
Playmates Toronto
Hollywood Ladies

IN-Call Lola @ The Naughty Gurls

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crackerjack

Reviewer
Joined Dec 21, 2009
Messages 135
Another dismal day down on the farm. Hog prices are depressed, the hens aren’t laying and methinks the barnyard rooster has gone queer. To make matters worse next month madman McGuinty is introducing a new tax on sex which translates into hobbying cutbacks for my little flaccid friend (aka Lil’Head). Needless to say the boy is down on the lip over that one. Decided to add some cheer to an otherwise cheerless day and scoot off for another pecker patrol in downtown Millerville and some HST free pussy.

Wheeled me ole pick-up out front of the hotel,,,,alongside eight cop Harley’s neatly parked in a row. Asked the nice lady po-lice officer standing guard if she found working the Gspot of Canada extremely pleasurable. With all the attitude of an ill-tempered hockey mum she barks back in no uncertain terms to get my sorry ass outta there and something ‘bout crippling my future abilities of procreating. Guess TO’s finest doesn’t have much sense of humour,,,,but I digress.

Nevertheless, the boy and I found the naughty room without 911 assistance and a quick rap-a-tap-tap on the door produced a lovely young lady attired in street walker wear. Dispensed with the usual formalities and made some small talk to break the ice. Spidey senses were tingling,,,, as I could sense she was more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Poo-poo’d it off as first timer jitters and jumped into the shower to polish the naughty bits to a sparkle. Hopped out feeling real GQ and joined my luv on the mattress. More small talk ensued,,,,more spidey senses tingling,,,,,as her tensions didn’t seem to fade. Moved in for a bit of LFK only to have her recoil as if I recently mouthwashed with battery acid. Even took a while to coax her outta that lil black dress and when she was naked she was concealing herself with her hands. WTF???!!! This was feeling all too weird. Planted some long lingering kisses over her breasts, nips and kept going south. Attempted a nose dive into the deep end of the (Y) when,,,,,,GGGGRRRRR,,,,ran smack dab into the dreaded leg lock. Nothing was going in,,,,not a hand, not a finger,,,,not even the jaws of life were about to get those gams apart.

AND I SHAVE MY BALLS FOR THIS???!!!!

We switch ‘er roo’d and with her fondling the family jewels Lil’Head rose quick for action. She slapped the finest in au couture sheepskin over the lad and guided the lil creep betwixt her thighs. As I thrust me guts out,,,,the expression on her face was one of “OH DEAR GAWD!!!,,,,,,LETS JUST GET THIS OVER WITH!!!”. With Lil’Head giving her a solid defrocking,,,,and in spite of her unspoken objectionable facial contortions,,,,, he went off like some wild bucking sperm spewing spigot. Could have filled the bucket of a front end loader.

PPHHEEWWW!!! Dare say the lad is gonna be down a quart of sperm juice after that one.


Gentlemen……….By the Numbers:

Face: 8
Has that GND look written all over her face. Slightly charcoaled complexion with soft brown doe like eyes, which melted my heart upon first sight – complemented with matching “past the shoulder” length brown hair and the warmest of smiles to behold. SIGH!!!

Body: 8.5
SSSSWWWEEETTTT!!!! A tender 19 or 20something; 5’6” and every ounce of 120ish lbs packed into a slender physique approaching runway material (and I don’t mean Pearson). Naturally tight without any baby fat. No gawdy Alt Girl bric-brac stapled to her flesh or tatooes noted. However, her navel was pierced with enough metal to crush a SMART car. Lovely set of au naturel C cups though (firm, round, yummy like melons) highlighted with teeny weeny brownish areolas and .22 caliber bullet shape nipples (almost as hard too). And on the topic of firearms,,,,she sported a set of bullet proof buns,,,,tight enough to skip a rock off.

Personality: 6
Rated her lower here primarily due to her apprehensions or lack of confidence which suppressed her true self from shining thru. Has that innocent sweet little girl aura ‘bout her but,,,,grieves me to admit,,,,,it gets buried under whatever nervous nelly heebie-jeebies she maintains within.

Session (GFE/PSE Fun Factor): 2
In a word,,,,,restrictive, passionless, pointless

Ok,,,that was three words,,,,but to make myself perfectly clear,,,,,IT REALLY PHUCKING SUCKED!!!

Her mind seemed elsewhere and it felt like the rest of her body wanted to join in with it too. To complicate matters further,,,,her rigid frigid anxieties seriously detracted from the session. Felt rushed towards the end as she just wanted to get the damn “deed” over with. Sorta like some poor sod standing bound and gagged in front of a firing squad.

Facilities: 8
Mid-sized room in a mid-scale hotel in the midtown of our fair city. Tiny towels provided as much cover as a wet fig leaf; nevertheless, award winning maid service was evidenced by the cleanliness of the room and shower facilities.

Losses:
$140.00 per hh + $0.00 tip. SERIOUSLY OVERPRICED considering services rendered (GROAN!)

Repeat:
NOPE!


Closing Arguments:

If it’s not already apparent - this has been voted worst session for 2010 even outstripping some notorious EE sessions in ‘09. I liken the whole encounter to similar experiences at the el cheapo Latin “Love Inns” which are half the $$$. Felt like having sex at arms length. Imho,,,,Lola is just not cut out to be in sex sales. In hindsight it would have been more exciting to have my way with that hot, blonde, bikini clad mannequin in The Bay’s display window at Yonge & Queen.

Hmmm,,,,,Actually,,,,,,,,,,, stay tuned for that review.


p.s. One happy note: I managed to cheat Dalton out of $11.20 HST.


Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!

Good day and good farmin’
 

Chef

Senior Member
Joined Jun 6, 2010
Messages 428
Sorry to hear about your experience but you made one guy laugh out loud. You are funny dick jack.
 

Detective

Well-known member
Joined Apr 30, 2010
Messages 415
Thanks for your honest review CJ, first bad review I have read about Lola. Did you call the owner of the agency?
 

Knight Rider

Well-known member
Joined Nov 14, 2009
Messages 1,471
Sorry to hear about your experience, crackerjack. You definitely got the low end of YYMV. You should give Mark a call.

KR
 

SloCumHeat

Senior Member
Joined Mar 11, 2010
Messages 964
Cj, as usually, entertaining review.

Surprised that Lola was that restrictive. She's gotten some good reviews and I recently put her on my TDL.

Lola is supposedly Spanish, would you describe her face/looks as Spanish/Latina seductress, or more a Caucasian, with a Spanish background.
 
B

Beenthere123

Guest
Oh boy that is not good, I hate when they lock their legs on daty. She should have told you what was available before the session CJ.

the expression on her face was one of “OH DEAR GAWD!!!,,,,,,LETS JUST GET THIS OVER WITH!!!”

Damn another bad call on her part, too bad all her reviews are good I wonder what happened.
 

crackerjack

Reviewer
Joined Dec 21, 2009
Messages 135
Thanks gents for your advices.

SloCumHeat:
She definitely has that Spanish/ Mediterranean look about her. Assumed she was latina by nature.

BT123:
A wise ole Chinese man by the name of Confucious once said,,,,
A man who fishes all his life is a fisherman,
A man who farms all his life is a farmer,
,,,,but suck one c o c k,,,,,.

Point being, one bad review does not make her a lousy choice. She could of had a bad day, a bad previous date or just did not care for my OleSpice aftershave. And Lurd knows not everyone appreciates my warped sense of humour. Underneath her demure exterior is a little sweetheart no doubt. I just was not able to tap into it. Sigh!
 
Joined Mar 11, 2010
Messages 503
Sorry to hear about the poor session crackerjack. Hopefully your next one will go a lot better.


SloCumHeat said:
Lola is supposedly Spanish, would you describe her face/looks as Spanish/Latina seductress, or more a Caucasian, with a Spanish background.

I would say Lola looks more South American Latina (mestizo) than European Spanish.
 

thetank

Reviewer
Joined Dec 6, 2009
Messages 531
OMFG that was funny shit. I nearly fell out of my seat laughing. Awesome review.

Oh . . . and sorry for the shitty session. :lol:

thetank
 

SloCumHeat

Senior Member
Joined Mar 11, 2010
Messages 964
crackerjack said:
Thanks gents for your advices.

SloCumHeat:
She definitely has that Spanish/ Mediterranean look about her. Assumed she was latina by nature.

BT123:
A wise ole Chinese man by the name of Confucious once said,,,,
A man who fishes all his life is a fisherman,
A man who farms all his life is a farmer,
,,,,but suck one c o c k,,,,,.

Point being, one bad review does not make her a lousy choice. She could of had a bad day, a bad previous date or just did not care for my OleSpice aftershave. And Lurd knows not everyone appreciates my warped sense of humour. Underneath her demure exterior is a little sweetheart no doubt. I just was not able to tap into it. Sigh!

Glad to see you still find humour even after a really bad session.

Going to ditch my Ole Spice.
Not sure where you were going with ",,,,but suck one c o c k,,,,,." ... is a ... :lol:
 

Madmax

Well-known member
Joined Feb 13, 2010
Messages 660
CJ love the one liners, kudos to you for not bashing her when you had such a bad session. Respect to you for handling it in such referential way.
 

Lucas_dude

Well-known member
Joined May 21, 2010
Messages 50
Madmax said:
CJ love the one liners, kudos to you for not bashing her when you had such a bad session. Respect to you for handling it in such referential way.

Concur to your words Max, classy act.
 

zorro

Well-known member
Joined Apr 30, 2010
Messages 725
Jack thanks for the good :lol::beurk: she deserves a :whip:. Bad girl.
 
I

iceman_dci

Guest
Sorry to hear about your not so stellar session CJ. These ladies have can have a tough day at any given time of the day while they are on duty...perhaps you just fell in to that "bad" slot of time or the two of you just didn't click.
 
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