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| colspan="2" style="margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 0px" | So you find yourself dating and in love with a Narcissist? Don't panic. This is your handy dandy girl's guide to the handling and feeding of your Narcissistic male lover. Congratulations! Welcome to Hell.
Here are a few tips to help you in your journey from soulmate to soul destroyed.... You may think now that that eventuality won't happen, but trust me it will.... even with the most careful of Narc feeding, eventually he will devalue and dump you.... it's just a matter of time.
1. The Falling in love stage is always the best, you will be convinced he is your soulmate, the perfect man and everything you have been looking for.... He will even tell you everything and anything to make sure you become his. This is called "Love Bombing" and it is a trip.
Enjoy this phase and ride the Oxytocin wave to ecstasy because the reality check is just around the corner.... To keep the trip going, try to ignore the blatant lies, and false accusations while forcing yourself to continue to believe that the initial mask and facade is actually who he is for as long as possible.... Because you really don't want to see the real face beneath, trust me....
2. The future's so bright you gotta wear shades.... This is called "Future faking" He will promise you your heart's desire, undying love and promise never to leave you... Latch onto that fantasy and ignore any evidence to the contrary as long as you can, because every little girl wants her Prince Charming and he is faking it until he makes it all the way into your heart.... Try to believe what he is telling you even as he is using it as a manipulative tactic and the future plans just never get realized....
3. Everything is always your fault. This is called "Blaming and Triangulation." So don't argue or waste time explaining your position because he is incapable of seeing it or even giving a flying fuck. Say you are sorry, take your punishment and ask for forgiveness immediately. He is always right, and he must always win.... it's all about him.
4. His perception of events is vastly different from the reality of events. You will think you are going crazy especially when he contradicts facts even in the face of concrete evidence but he will never tell you the truth. He believes his lies and so should you. This is called
'Cognitive Dissonance" .
Best to just not question him or even bother to source out evidence because he is not interested in the truth and nor should you be if you want to be happy.
5. Praise him constantly, make sure to let him know he is the best at everything, the most handsome, the most intelligent and he will truly be the best lover you have every had so be thankful for this opportunity.
This is called "Narcissistic Supply" and this is his main source of food. Without it he dies, and your usefulness will end abruptly. This is your role and your purpose. Even if you are angry, any response positive or negative will serve as feeding. He thrives on emotional response and turmoil.
6. Try not to be anxious and worry when he goes radio silent. This is called the "Silent Treatment" and he is punishing you for some perceived transgression and or he is sourcing out other avenues of Narcissitic supply by trolling dating sites for other women. He requires these silent treatment breaks to allow him to focus his time and energy on other Narc endeavors and uses it as an opportunity to explore his options.
Don't worry, if the Narc food you are feeding him is of sufficient quality he will be back.... a good suppy that sticks around is hard to find.
7. Allow yourself to become utterly besotted and enthralled with the fantasy he has spun for you.... don't go searching for more information because chances are you won't like what you find. Likely you will find a wife and kids he is living with that he told was an ex-wife and a son he failed to mention.
This is called "Gaslighting" and even in the face of a ridiculous explanation, try to believe him when he spins a convoluted tail so complex and fucked up that it makes the movie "Mullholland Drive" look simplistically straight forward. The less you know the better.
Finally, the rollercoaster ride will abruptly come to an end when he inevitably finds a better source of feeding and supply or you awake from your dream state and kick his ass to the curb and go no contact.
Either way he will utimately devalue you and dump you because he really deserves better than a crazy fucking bitch like you.... Best to accept your fate and move on..... and try to avoid letting him back into your life when he returns for more..... because eventually he will...
A hungry Narc is resourceful and if you have been a good girl with your care and feeding in the past he is fairly certain he can hit you up for more in the future if there is a famine...... But after the above are you sure you still want to keep one as a pet? More trouble than they are worth me thinks....
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