Made with Love

Girl's Guide to the Care & Feeding of your Narc

Anneliese

Well-known member
Joined Jan 18, 2013
Messages 239
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| colspan="2" style="margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 0px" | So you find yourself dating and in love with a Narcissist? Don't panic. This is your handy dandy girl's guide to the handling and feeding of your Narcissistic male lover. Congratulations! Welcome to Hell.

Here are a few tips to help you in your journey from soulmate to soul destroyed.... You may think now that that eventuality won't happen, but trust me it will.... even with the most careful of Narc feeding, eventually he will devalue and dump you.... it's just a matter of time.

1. The Falling in love stage is always the best, you will be convinced he is your soulmate, the perfect man and everything you have been looking for.... He will even tell you everything and anything to make sure you become his. This is called "Love Bombing" and it is a trip.

Enjoy this phase and ride the Oxytocin wave to ecstasy because the reality check is just around the corner.... To keep the trip going, try to ignore the blatant lies, and false accusations while forcing yourself to continue to believe that the initial mask and facade is actually who he is for as long as possible.... Because you really don't want to see the real face beneath, trust me....

2. The future's so bright you gotta wear shades.... This is called "Future faking" He will promise you your heart's desire, undying love and promise never to leave you... Latch onto that fantasy and ignore any evidence to the contrary as long as you can, because every little girl wants her Prince Charming and he is faking it until he makes it all the way into your heart.... Try to believe what he is telling you even as he is using it as a manipulative tactic and the future plans just never get realized....

3. Everything is always your fault. This is called "Blaming and Triangulation." So don't argue or waste time explaining your position because he is incapable of seeing it or even giving a flying fuck. Say you are sorry, take your punishment and ask for forgiveness immediately. He is always right, and he must always win.... it's all about him.

4. His perception of events is vastly different from the reality of events. You will think you are going crazy especially when he contradicts facts even in the face of concrete evidence but he will never tell you the truth. He believes his lies and so should you. This is called
'Cognitive Dissonance" .

Best to just not question him or even bother to source out evidence because he is not interested in the truth and nor should you be if you want to be happy.

5. Praise him constantly, make sure to let him know he is the best at everything, the most handsome, the most intelligent and he will truly be the best lover you have every had so be thankful for this opportunity.

This is called "Narcissistic Supply" and this is his main source of food. Without it he dies, and your usefulness will end abruptly. This is your role and your purpose. Even if you are angry, any response positive or negative will serve as feeding. He thrives on emotional response and turmoil.

6. Try not to be anxious and worry when he goes radio silent. This is called the "Silent Treatment" and he is punishing you for some perceived transgression and or he is sourcing out other avenues of Narcissitic supply by trolling dating sites for other women. He requires these silent treatment breaks to allow him to focus his time and energy on other Narc endeavors and uses it as an opportunity to explore his options.

Don't worry, if the Narc food you are feeding him is of sufficient quality he will be back.... a good suppy that sticks around is hard to find.

7. Allow yourself to become utterly besotted and enthralled with the fantasy he has spun for you.... don't go searching for more information because chances are you won't like what you find. Likely you will find a wife and kids he is living with that he told was an ex-wife and a son he failed to mention.

This is called "Gaslighting" and even in the face of a ridiculous explanation, try to believe him when he spins a convoluted tail so complex and fucked up that it makes the movie "Mullholland Drive" look simplistically straight forward. The less you know the better.

Finally, the rollercoaster ride will abruptly come to an end when he inevitably finds a better source of feeding and supply or you awake from your dream state and kick his ass to the curb and go no contact.

Either way he will utimately devalue you and dump you because he really deserves better than a crazy fucking bitch like you.... Best to accept your fate and move on..... and try to avoid letting him back into your life when he returns for more..... because eventually he will...

A hungry Narc is resourceful and if you have been a good girl with your care and feeding in the past he is fairly certain he can hit you up for more in the future if there is a famine...... But after the above are you sure you still want to keep one as a pet? More trouble than they are worth me thinks....
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nntsci

Reviewer
Joined Jul 15, 2016
Messages 752
I had a female friend who was a narcissist... it was quite a roller coaster ride... she was charming and entertaining. Liked to play head games... I counted about 30 different head games she would play. The mood swings were amazing. From charming to nasty in a matter of seconds.
 

peace

Reviewer
Joined Dec 23, 2010
Messages 29,067
width="100%" style="width: 100%"
|- style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px"
| colspan="2" style="margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 0px" | So you find yourself dating and in love with a Narcissist? Don't panic. This is your handy dandy girl's guide to the handling and feeding of your Narcissistic male lover. Congratulations! Welcome to Hell.

Here are a few tips to help you in your journey from soulmate to soul destroyed.... You may think now that that eventuality won't happen, but trust me it will.... even with the most careful of Narc feeding, eventually he will devalue and dump you.... it's just a matter of time.

1. The Falling in love stage is always the best, you will be convinced he is your soulmate, the perfect man and everything you have been looking for.... He will even tell you everything and anything to make sure you become his. This is called "Love Bombing" and it is a trip.

Enjoy this phase and ride the Oxytocin wave to ecstasy because the reality check is just around the corner.... To keep the trip going, try to ignore the blatant lies, and false accusations while forcing yourself to continue to believe that the initial mask and facade is actually who he is for as long as possible.... Because you really don't want to see the real face beneath, trust me....

2. The future's so bright you gotta wear shades.... This is called "Future faking" He will promise you your heart's desire, undying love and promise never to leave you... Latch onto that fantasy and ignore any evidence to the contrary as long as you can, because every little girl wants her Prince Charming and he is faking it until he makes it all the way into your heart.... Try to believe what he is telling you even as he is using it as a manipulative tactic and the future plans just never get realized....

3. Everything is always your fault. This is called "Blaming and Triangulation." So don't argue or waste time explaining your position because he is incapable of seeing it or even giving a flying fuck. Say you are sorry, take your punishment and ask for forgiveness immediately. He is always right, and he must always win.... it's all about him.

4. His perception of events is vastly different from the reality of events. You will think you are going crazy especially when he contradicts facts even in the face of concrete evidence but he will never tell you the truth. He believes his lies and so should you. This is called
'Cognitive Dissonance" .

Best to just not question him or even bother to source out evidence because he is not interested in the truth and nor should you be if you want to be happy.

5. Praise him constantly, make sure to let him know he is the best at everything, the most handsome, the most intelligent and he will truly be the best lover you have every had so be thankful for this opportunity.

This is called "Narcissistic Supply" and this is his main source of food. Without it he dies, and your usefulness will end abruptly. This is your role and your purpose. Even if you are angry, any response positive or negative will serve as feeding. He thrives on emotional response and turmoil.

6. Try not to be anxious and worry when he goes radio silent. This is called the "Silent Treatment" and he is punishing you for some perceived transgression and or he is sourcing out other avenues of Narcissitic supply by trolling dating sites for other women. He requires these silent treatment breaks to allow him to focus his time and energy on other Narc endeavors and uses it as an opportunity to explore his options.

Don't worry, if the Narc food you are feeding him is of sufficient quality he will be back.... a good suppy that sticks around is hard to find.

7. Allow yourself to become utterly besotted and enthralled with the fantasy he has spun for you.... don't go searching for more information because chances are you won't like what you find. Likely you will find a wife and kids he is living with that he told was an ex-wife and a son he failed to mention.

This is called "Gaslighting" and even in the face of a ridiculous explanation, try to believe him when he spins a convoluted tail so complex and fucked up that it makes the movie "Mullholland Drive" look simplistically straight forward. The less you know the better.

Finally, the rollercoaster ride will abruptly come to an end when he inevitably finds a better source of feeding and supply or you awake from your dream state and kick his ass to the curb and go no contact.

Either way he will utimately devalue you and dump you because he really deserves better than a crazy fucking bitch like you.... Best to accept your fate and move on..... and try to avoid letting him back into your life when he returns for more..... because eventually he will...

A hungry Narc is resourceful and if you have been a good girl with your care and feeding in the past he is fairly certain he can hit you up for more in the future if there is a famine...... But after the above are you sure you still want to keep one as a pet? More trouble than they are worth me thinks....
|-

Isn't this normal with many guys? :unknw:

Meanwhile I dated a woman who required a great deal of "narcissistic Supply" and dished out the silent treatment regularly. I am so relieved to get out of that relationship. It was an eye opener and a valuable learning experience for moi.....in other words, don't ever do it again!
 

peace

Reviewer
Joined Dec 23, 2010
Messages 29,067
I had a female friend who was a narcissist... it was quite a roller coaster ride... she was charming and entertaining. Liked to play head games... I counted about 30 different head games she would play. The mood swings were amazing. From charming to nasty in a matter of seconds.

Mine was the opposite....

from nasty to charming in a matter of seconds but consistently charming to her friends in my presence. :don'twantto-see:/
 

Anneliese

Well-known member
Joined Jan 18, 2013
Messages 239
Been a couple of days. You over him yet?.

Nope.... a sobbing devasted mess actually. The thing is dating him was also revelatory for me as i held a mirror up to myself. You see he was extremely dominant and very rough sexually and during the course of our relationship I was black and blue from the forceful sex. I loved every minute of it. The rougher the better and I relished each bruise. I loved when he talked dirty and was mean to me and held me down and told me he owned me. He totally took me to the edge.... it was fucked up but the most amazing sex and orgasms of my life.

And so I needed to understand what the fuck was going on and started to research.... but not just about him... found out that I was fucked up too, with significant borderline traits that have me being an emotional fountain with extreme hypersexuality. It wasn't pleasant facing myself like that and realizing that I am far far far from normal.... and the revelation that I am an extreme submissive and masochist was also something that I hadn't realized fully either..... As fucked up as he and the relationship was... I realized that I was equally so, and like two sides of the same coin, it was an explosive and addictive combination.
 

nntsci

Reviewer
Joined Jul 15, 2016
Messages 752
Mine was the opposite....

from nasty to charming in a matter of seconds but consistently charming to her friends in my presence. :don'twantto-see:/

My gal could be consistently charming when she wanted to be, but cross her and lock out.

One of the games he would play was to flirt with me to the point of serious kissing, then tell me she just wanted to be friends. Then get mad eat me for hitting on her. And around it went. Each game, he was the centre of attention.

Anyway... never again will I talk to her.
 
E

ERecTile

Guest
Nope.... a sobbing devasted mess actually. The thing is dating him was also revelatory for me as i held a mirror up to myself. You see he was extremely dominant and very rough sexually and during the course of our relationship I was black and blue from the forceful sex. I loved every minute of it. The rougher the better and I relished each bruise. I loved when he talked dirty and was mean to me and held me down and told me he owned me. He totally took me to the edge.... it was fucked up but the most amazing sex and orgasms of my life.

And so I needed to understand what the fuck was going on and started to research.... but not just about him... found out that I was fucked up too, with significant borderline traits that have me being an emotional fountain with extreme hypersexuality. It wasn't pleasant facing myself like that and realizing that I am far far far from normal.... and the revelation that I am an extreme submissive and masochist was also something that I hadn't realized fully either..... As fucked up as he and the relationship was... I realized that I was equally so, and like two sides of the same coin, it was an explosive and addictive combination.

You are far far normal, don't ever forget that. There's nothing wrong with rough sex as long as both parties are enjoying it and no one gets hurt. There's nothing wrong with being in a dominant/submissive relationship as long as both parties are respected equally. And, bottom line, there was nothing wrong with you. You are who you are, and maybe one thing good did come out of this. Your sexual borders have opened up, and you now know what you like sexually.

I actually envy that somewhat. Me, I'm such a vanilla kind of guy, but thanks to this hobby, I've experimented a tad with being a dominant. I've lightly spanked, and just recently, I've gone full out pounding on a SP while grabbing a couple of handfuls. It was fun, but not something I'd want all the time. I'm still very vanilla!
 

Warden

Senior Member
Joined Feb 3, 2012
Messages 102
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