SillyGirl
Senior Member
Joined
Apr 7, 2017
Messages 7,246
Messages 7,246
Big hug, Baz...I'm really sorry you're going through this. When the person next to whom you are planning on being buried leaves without warning, it's like a knife in the heart. I remember it well.
I couldn't imagine it at the time, but now I feel like I should send him a Thank You note.
Your life has taken a sharp turn that you didn't see coming, but that doesn't mean your future is bleak and you'll never feel happiness again. I know you don't believe that right now. Your not believing it doesn't make it untrue.
Get out of bed every day and take a shower. In retrospect, this was the most valuable piece of advice I got.
Give yourself this week for your meltdown, then get your shit together and go back to work on Monday. Staying home and letting yourself wallow in your misery is not mentally healthy.
GET A LAWYER RIGHT NOW. You'll both profess to want to keep things amicable. There is no amicable divorce.
Yes, be civil -- but understand that she is not looking out for your interests anymore. Nor should you be looking out for hers. These days, I could really use those tens of thousands of dollars I gave up by being nice.
I hope you have people in your life you're close enough with to really talk openly with. Talk to them. If you don't want to talk, write. Write to us, keep a journal, draft letters to Ida that you will never send. However you do it, please vent that rollercoaster of emotion that you're on.
Please let us know how you're doing. Like it or not, you're part of the family around here.
:BigHug: :BigHug: :BigHug:
I couldn't imagine it at the time, but now I feel like I should send him a Thank You note.
Your life has taken a sharp turn that you didn't see coming, but that doesn't mean your future is bleak and you'll never feel happiness again. I know you don't believe that right now. Your not believing it doesn't make it untrue.
Get out of bed every day and take a shower. In retrospect, this was the most valuable piece of advice I got.
Give yourself this week for your meltdown, then get your shit together and go back to work on Monday. Staying home and letting yourself wallow in your misery is not mentally healthy.
GET A LAWYER RIGHT NOW. You'll both profess to want to keep things amicable. There is no amicable divorce.
Yes, be civil -- but understand that she is not looking out for your interests anymore. Nor should you be looking out for hers. These days, I could really use those tens of thousands of dollars I gave up by being nice.
I hope you have people in your life you're close enough with to really talk openly with. Talk to them. If you don't want to talk, write. Write to us, keep a journal, draft letters to Ida that you will never send. However you do it, please vent that rollercoaster of emotion that you're on.
Please let us know how you're doing. Like it or not, you're part of the family around here.
:BigHug: :BigHug: :BigHug: