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Corniest, funniest and favorite pick up lines

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Beenthere123

Guest

Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
 

Darfus

Well-known member
Joined Mar 10, 2010
Messages 133
tboy said:
or the ever popular:

In a noisy bar:
tickle your cunt with a feather?

WHAT DID YOU SAY???

typical country WEATHER!!!!!

:lol: good one!!!
 
H

HOF

Guest
Ask the bartender to:
1. make two comfortable screws against the wall and add one beer.
2. ask for some crushed ice.
3. bartender takes drinks over and you wander beside the lady, drop the ice, crush it under your shoe and say: NOW THAT THE ICE IS BROKEN, Let's enjoy a comfortable screw against the wall.


Hey cutie, wanna hook-up and piss off your parents. It's okay, I went to university with them too!


Go up to two ladies, chat up the one that is the least attractive, and you'll probably end up having a threesome! LMAO

One of my work colleagues had just become a father, so he was on the phone checkin' in with his wife and I walked by and said, "How's your wife and my kid." He replied, "Wife's fine, kids got down syndrome." Bastard!


Hey babe, once you had a short man, you never go back!

I'm built like a tripod

Cmon, we all the same when horizontal!
 

tboy

Well-known member
Joined Jun 2, 2010
Messages 9,200
This isn't exactly a pickup line but I was in LavaLife Chat one night and sent a PM to this lady.

She replied:

Sorry, but I want a man with a full head of hair.

I replied:

Well, I'd like a woman without saggy boobs too but at our age, that ain't gonna happen!

LOL

To top it off, she replied: that was kind of harsh
I said: not any harsher than rejecting me because I'm bald!!!
 

Raiden

Reviewer
Joined Nov 6, 2009
Messages 6,565
tboy said:
This isn't exactly a pickup line but I was in LavaLife Chat one night and sent a PM to this lady.

She replied:

Sorry, but I want a man with a full head of hair.

I replied:

Well, I'd like a woman without saggy boobs too but at our age, that ain't gonna happen!

LOL

To top it off, she replied: that was kind of harsh
I said: not any harsher than rejecting me because I'm bald!!!

That's a good one.:lol:
 

The Options Menu

Well-known member
Joined Apr 20, 2010
Messages 154
I've never had any luck with pickup lines. I write, speak, and think in paragraphs. Hmm, I'm missing a 3rd sentence.
 

tboy

Well-known member
Joined Jun 2, 2010
Messages 9,200
I thought someone wrote this one already:

"wouldn't I be an excellant way to piss off your parents"????
 

Hugojoe

Well-known member
Joined Feb 25, 2010
Messages 232
tboy said:
I thought someone wrote this one already:

"wouldn't I be an excellant way to piss off your parents"????

The funniest so far :he:
 

Rahino

Well-known member
Joined Mar 29, 2010
Messages 142
New Smilies!!! nice!!

New Smilies!!! nice!!

:whip: :gasp: :beurk::go:
 

tboy

Well-known member
Joined Jun 2, 2010
Messages 9,200
ChrisD said:

Yeah, for once in my life I came up with it ON TIME not 10 minutes later (which is what I usually do).....

Here's one I'm going to use when the time presents itself:

Hey, I'm new in town, what's THE thing to do on a first date?

So she'll go on to tell me which restaurant, what club, etc etc

Then I'll say:

Hey, that's great, thanks a lot, what time friday do I pick you up?

Don't know if I posted this before (and I actually used it once):

I was wandering through loblaws frozen food section one day and this really cute MILF was there looking over things, so I wrote something on my shopping list and went over to her:

Excuse me, I'm new to this store, could you tell me what aisle I can find this in (and point to the last thing on my list and it said GIRLFRIEND).

The time I tried it she laughed and said "that was cute" lol (no went no further grrrr lol)
 
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